TV REVIEW Jonathan Ross glams it up for ITV’s big night at the Oscars | Maqvi News

The 2024 Academy Awards (ITV, Sun/Mon) returned to terrestrial TV for the first time in 10 years. Was it worth it? Yes – if only to see just how good modern hair dye was proving for many of our current presenters. It makes the traditional close-up even more interesting, much like examining a photo from the Royal family.

Jonathan Ross, the host for the evening, in the UK at least, turned in a near faultless performance, bravely belting out gag after gag with little to no response given that there was no studio audience.

It was obvious that we were on ITV, or a weird children’s TV show, when Ross picked up a statuette and said, “This is an actual Oscar.”

Now I don’t know about you, but anyone who was still watching at that hour would have seen one of these gongs before, surely. Please write to me if that was the first time you had ever seen an Academy Award.

The entire evening was a seat-of-the-pants affair, with nothing running on time and actors at their flaky best. It’s what makes it a great evening’s entertainment. It did mean there was no time to put a caption in front of a celebrity when they arrived on the red carpet, so most of the evening was spent going, “Oh I think that’s the guy from, what’s the name of it?”

I had two favourite moments. The first was seeing actor Nicolas Cage looking just plain weird after a fight with a hair dye bottle but clearly still enjoying life. The second was listening to Robert Downey Jnr’s hilarious acceptance speech for best supporting actor in Oppenheimer – “I’d like to thank my terrible childhood.” If only more people had “terrible childhood’s”… films would be much better. As it stands you could argue the TV has its nose in front right now.

Could it be that we’ve reached a saturation point with murder mystery shows? No chance.

Like your favourite garden ground cover, cosy crime is on the march, searching out sleuths and grumpy detectives in counties where you wouldn’t have thought possible.

Recently, Buckinghamshire’s Marlow became a scene of intense crime solving, with the Marlow Murder Club. I note Rutland is still overlooked.

There appears to be no end to the creativity of TV companies to find not only a new coastal setting on the British Isles but a brooding DCI craving a new start.

So welcome to Whitstable Pearl (Drama, Thurs), first seen on Prime, which neatly combines the two, to give us Kent’s first ‘tec.

You will soon have busloads of excited Scandinavians arriving on the coast, seeking an antidote to their own home-spun, darkly depressing detective inspectors, preferring some wry English wit.

Pearl (Kerry Godliman) is a local restaurateur who for half of the show was up to her elbows in shellfish. And, to be honest, the food looked good enough to eat – even after stewing under hot TV lights for eight hours. Not a raw prawn to be seen.

Whitstable is most famous for its oysters although business looked rather flat on our first visit to the pretty timber sheds by the harbour’s edge.

Our morose detective was Mike ‘The Mystery’ Maguire (Howard Charles) who we see in flashbacks with someone who may be a former partner. And what do you know, before the end of the first episode he decided to stick around for a while.

Any potential criminal will have been delighted at the lack of any police presence in Whitstable, particularly for a serious offence. They appeared to have no one available to act as Maguire’s sidekick — though they would only have compromised the path of true love – to a lobster thermidor.

It turned out that Pearl was a former police officer who was slumming it in a restaurant, making her an oven-ready sidekick for Maguire. She’s cleverer too. It is her show after all.

The real mystery for me is Pearl’s mother Dolly (Frances Barber) who appeared to have little to do. What’s she up to? No truth to the rumour that she’s running a money-laundering operation with cash stuffed in lobster pots.

How will this tasty drama all end? As it always does — with a bill much larger than you ever expected.

Presenter Ben Shephard appeared to forget his full outfit when he arrived on the set for his new job on This Morning (Monday). The former GMB man must have left his necktie in the cab because he was wearing only a polo shirt.

This Morning goes golf-club ready — Alan Partridge would approve.

Finally, a cautionary tale on Channel 5 as Sally Lindsay’s divorcee was conned by a Love Rat (Mon-Thurs) in Cyprus. They came together in a bar while both reading Wuthering Heights. What are the chances? Zero.

Will she get her revenge? Yes — but only in a TV drama.

STEPHENSON’S ROCKET

Susan Calman must have some strange hold over Channel 5 and BBC.

Her programmes have proliferated, travel and otherwise, so that a quick search on Radio Times will unearth no fewer than 12 different series. Most fascinating was Susan Calman Makes Me Happy – surely about her own financial adviser.

Many viewers are unhappy with celebrities taking travel freebies when mortals must pay full price.

Please, can we have a sabbatical from Susan Calman. We’ll all feel better for it – and Susan will return refreshed for Susan Calman Makes Me Even Happier.