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The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humour lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here.
People who camp are like, “But camping is so much fun!” and then tell you a story about how they had to fight a raccoon at 2 AM.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 6, 2023
i told my dad about my breakup and he was like 'the clash broke up, too'
— jamie loftus 🌭 (@jamieloftusHELP) September 6, 2023
Love having offline friends because I get texts like this pic.twitter.com/ZT2NM4rYUL
— madam senatHER (@reallifesenator) September 5, 2023
fascinated that anyone in their 20s could have a home decor style beyond “this was free on marketplace”, “this was my grandma’s” or “I live near an outlet mall and checked daily for a year until a couch was marked under $500”
— emily (@emilykmay) September 7, 2023
Unsure of how everyone else read this, but I honestly thought this was a headline about a killer crab. pic.twitter.com/T8mLliJQAu
— Austin Highsmith Garces (@AustinHighsmith) September 6, 2023
I saw an IG Reel that said something along the lines of “women have no idea how often the men in their lives think about the Roman Empire.”
So I asked my husband: “How often do you think about the Roman Empire?”
And without missing a beat he said “Every day.”
YALL! Why!?
— Rev. Kelsey Lewis Vincent (@KelseyMLoo) September 6, 2023
no f’king way dude pic.twitter.com/CGmgJKNBtv
— maddi (@urmanicpixiegf) September 7, 2023
I SAID YES!!!! ❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍💍💍💍 my psychiatrist asked if we should up my dose!!!
— trash jones (@jzux) September 3, 2023
life with astigmatism is more romantic because every light is a twinkle light
— delia (@delia_cai) September 4, 2023
“I’m not high-maintenance am I?” I ask my boyfriend, as we walk into the third grocery store in search of the exact brand of water I like
— Ginny Hogan (@ginnyhogan_) September 2, 2023
desperately trying to scrub the nightclub stamp off my hand before work got me feeling like this pic.twitter.com/R8eQ93LttL
— emmy ! 🙂 (@punkflop) September 2, 2023
Latino Pixar movies are like “look mijo….Abuela’s magical tortillas have come to life!”
— martina martinez (@illegalth0t) September 3, 2023
I’m obsessed with the house keeping staff in this hotel. Every time they make up the bed they put my Sylvanian lying down. 10/10 bit. It makes my day pic.twitter.com/aJdu0D8f04
— 🐁𝕿𝖆𝖎𝖇𝖍𝖘𝖊𝖔𝖎𝖗🐁 (@wkd_witch0) September 3, 2023
Nope, sorry, can't tonight. Teresa from Facebook just outed her husband's affair with a picture of him out with his mistress in a post for his BIRTHDAY, so yeah my night is pretty full already.
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) September 6, 2023
IKEA is the most expensive escape room
— Midge (@mxmclain) September 2, 2023
Incredible way to find out my therapist is at Burning Man pic.twitter.com/69ann50Ni9
— Catie Stewart (@catrionastew) September 3, 2023
We just joined a gym and they asked me to pick a 4 digit member number and I opened my mouth and my husband said, “I stg if you use your bank pin.”
I was, in fact, going to use my bank pin💀
— emily (@emilykmay) September 2, 2023
his body is bread and his blood is wine? jesus was the original girl dinner
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) September 2, 2023
This is what your 9th Grade English teacher means when she says "give your essay a strong opener." https://t.co/NSwu33OC5J
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) September 4, 2023
I love Italy I was buying shoes and the store owner wouldn’t let me buy a pair bc they were for “older women” and then he got out another box and told me I should get those & I thought he was upselling me but no, they were the same price, he just really cared that I looked hot.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) September 7, 2023
asking u to send good energy to the sephora employee at the register who looked at me, taken aback, and went “your voice is so calming. i’ve just experienced a lot today and….. it’s just so soothing ” after i said “hi. yes, just this”
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) September 6, 2023
not academy award winner Marion Cotillard being the most devastated about the Joe Jonas-Sophie Turner divorce news?? pic.twitter.com/JWTHWk6CdS
— Hilary (@pdx_hilbo) September 4, 2023
Characters in books always have “piercing” blue eyes. I want to read a book where someone has “dull” blue eyes.
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) September 6, 2023
there are two types of grandmas. regular grandma and cigarette grandmas. and u can tell when somebody was raised by a cigarette grandma
— . (@NoEmmeG) September 4, 2023
depends… are you actually looking for advice or are you looking for sympathy https://t.co/F6ZtjNy0Ge
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) September 4, 2023
girl math is when you buy concert tickets in september but the concert is in march so by that time it’s basically free
— emerson ⭑ (@waitingroomgf) September 3, 2023
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